so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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