If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
