Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
