Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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