eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
