1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
