So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
