and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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