you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
