Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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