Your mouth is God's brothel.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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