I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize