can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
