I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
