Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
