If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
a search helicopter?!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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