I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize