what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
