Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
