btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
