can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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