Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Enjoy the penises
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
