That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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