Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
