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I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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