Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
