P.S. I can't hear my feet
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
