I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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