We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
