just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
