I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
