That's when you crack a 10am beer
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
and she was petting her beer can
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize