she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I have aggressive nipples.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
