Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
