There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
