Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
