He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
