Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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