Barsexuality is the new black.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
worst night to have a conscience
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
