May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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