i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
