It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
