I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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