So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
