we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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