now i know why i became what i already was.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize