I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
