My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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