Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
third nipple confirmed
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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