the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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