I hate all girls vehemently.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It was confusing and full of hummus
My pussy is not your playground.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
