Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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