he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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