he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
