I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize