She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize