New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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