remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
