Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
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