Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
