Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
