How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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