yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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