I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
