pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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