i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize