it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
