True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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